Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Did You Know It Was Liberal Tuesday?










Thanks Facebook Buds ... The place I was kicked off of for 24 hours yesterday.

Might go back ?????

Sunday, January 28, 2018

God's Plan For Aging Gracefully



Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom, God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom, He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach and stretch And God looked down and saw that it was good.

 Then God considered the function of bladders and decided that seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.  God looked down and saw that it was good.

 So if you find as you age that you are getting up and down more, remember that it’s God’s will.  It is all in your best interest, even though you mutter under your breath.


Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older

 #9  Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

 #8  Life is sexually transmitted.

 #7  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6   Men have 2 motivations: hunger and sex, and they can't tell them apart. If you see an old man with a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.

#4  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2  In the 1960's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1  Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do here, today, may be a burning issue somewhere else, tomorrow. 

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.


Thanks T-Bone

Thursday, January 25, 2018

NO SPEAKA DA ENGLISH


A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

 'Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! . Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.'



The lady can't take this any more,

 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,' she retorted indignantly. 'In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives.

 'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '.'

$50 says you're gonna read this again.


Thank Dan

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Friday, January 19, 2018

Thursday, January 18, 2018

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