Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Dr. Smith ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style


A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith 
about enlarging her breasts. Dr. Smith advised her, 
'Every day after your shower, rub your chest 
and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, 
I want bigger boobies!'

 
She did this faithfully for several months!  
To her utter amazement she grew terrific 
D-cup boobs!


One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.  

 Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't 
recite the little rhyme, she stoodup in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes  and said, 'Scooby doobie, doobies, 
I want bigger boobies.'

A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked, 
'Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. Smith?'

'Yes I am... How did you know?'

He winked and replied, "Hickory dickory dock"!

Thanks Dan 





Other Patients of Dr. Smith Rule 5 ers:

Friday, February 17, 2017

Light The Way . . . .



Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our country, way back when George Washington was crossing the

Delaware River with his troops.  
 

There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington's boat.  It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about.  
 

Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember this name) and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern.  He ordered him to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.  
 

Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.  
 

Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and his

lantern into the Delaware.   Washington and his troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail. All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favorites.  
 

Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted.  He rallied the troops and told them that they must go on.  
 

Another hour later, one of his men said, 'General, I see lights ahead.'

They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house.  
 

What they didn't know was that this was a house of ill repute, hidden in the forest to serve all who came.  
 

General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.
 

The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman.
 

A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.  
 

Washington was the first to speak, 'Madam, I am General George Washington and these are my men.  We are tired, wet, exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort.'  
 

Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you have come to the right place.  We can surely give you warmth and comfort.  How many men do you have?'  
 

Washington replied, 'Well, Madam, there are 32 of us without Peters .'  
 

And the Madam said, "You gotta be shittin’ me."

Thanks Dan

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Old Age Still Isn't For Sissies


This is what all of you 70+ year olds, and yet-to-be kids have to look forward to!!  This is something that happened at an assisted living center.

The people who lived there have small apartments but they
all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the
door and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly so she went back to the dining area.

An hour later he still hadn't arrived so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a
hell of time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain and just wanted to have his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast.

When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step so they called an
ambulance for him. A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing. The
receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one leg of his boxer shorts.

I am sending this to my children so that they don’t sell the house before they know the facts.

Thanks Dick

Oh, feel my pain.

Friday, February 10, 2017