Sunday, December 31, 2017

Windows . . . .



Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.
Today, I got a call from Home Depot who installed them. The caller complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Helloooo,........... just because I'm a Senior Citizen doesn't mean that I am automatically mentally challenged.
So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year --that these windows would pay for themselves in a year---
Hellooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up.
He never called back.  I bet he felt like an idiot.


Thanks Brig!

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Costume Party ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style



Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early enough, decided to go to the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little touch here and a little kiss there..

His wife sidled up to him and, being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe who had just arrived.  She let him go as far as he wished . Naturally, since he was her husband.   Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed. So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.  Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away, and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.  She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.

He said: "Oh, the same old thing. you know I never have a good time when you're not there."

"Did you dance much?"

"You know, I never even danced one dance.  When I got there I met Pete, Bill Browning, and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to..."






 Thanks T-Bone

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLISON!

Other Custom Party Going Rule 5 ers:

Friday, December 29, 2017

Tax Reform 101



And so it goes…

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100… If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

– The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.

– The fifth would pay $1.

– The sixth would pay $3.

– The seventh would pay $7.

– The eighth would pay $12.

– The ninth would pay $18.

– The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball.  “Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20″.

”  Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes, so the first four men were unaffected.  They would still drink for free.  But what about the other six men?  How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33.  But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he  suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3… (33% saving).

The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7… (28% saving).

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12… (25% saving).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18… (22% saving).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59… (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before.  And the first four continued to drink for free.

But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

“I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving,” declared the sixth man.  He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got $10!”

“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar too. It’s unfair that he received ten times more benefit than me!”

“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man.  “Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2?  The wealthy get all the breaks!”

“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “We didn’t get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!”

The nine men surrounded the tenth man and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him.  But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important.  They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works.  The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.  In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible


Thanks David

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Monday, December 25, 2017

Merry Christmas From Woodsterman ~ A Tradition


Merry Christmas to all the Woodsterman Readers!

This video is a long time tradition at Woodsterman. Gather up the kids and
fill your screen and turn up the sound.

ENJOY!
 

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Friday, December 22, 2017

Thursday, December 21, 2017

HOW TO KNOW WHEN A WOMAN IS PISSED!








It's like they don't understand.

Thanks T-Bone

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Happy "Liberal" Holidays ~ Woodsterman Style


Happy Winter Solstice
"Offend No One . . . Unless 
Of Course You're Woodsterman" 








MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU LIBERAL PAGANS!

Monday, December 18, 2017

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