Sunday, January 31, 2016

Christmas Hospital Decor

You know You Work In A Hospital When

The Christmas Decorations Look Like This

Friday, January 29, 2016

Cowboy Heaven . . . .

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked
"Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered.
"On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, 

I came upon a gang of bikers
who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and 

smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out 
his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, 
back off or I'll kick the s#*t out of all of you!' "
 St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Couple of minutes ago."

Thanks Hal

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Her Majesty

As you know, my dear people, the last year for me has been an annus horribilus. The Royal House of Clinton has been tormented by questions about our handling of finances and subjected to tiresome questions about the tragic events in Benghazi - in the furthest regions of our empire. And, sadly, also questions about my Royal e-mails.

Nevertheless, I will not be daunted in my desire and commitment to serve you, the people. For the next seventeen months I will be traveling among you as one of you, to listen to your deepest longings and needs. I will be with you in your Wal-Marts and beside you in your Burger Kings. I will drive with you down the busy interstate highways of our land, sharing your poverty and needs.

How well I remember the days when the Duke of Arkansas and I were impoverished. After we were expelled from our Washington Palace we hardly had two mansions to rub together. We were so poor that we removed thousands of dollars of china, flatware, carpets and gifts from the Washington Palace just to survive. Shockingly, unscrupulous and ungrateful officials later forced us to return many of these treasures. Now, happily, benefactors from around our empire have given me just enough for us to scrape by.

During these difficult times, we had to cut back. When our daughter was married, we only had three million dollars to spend on her wedding. And, I remember our hopes, as she moved into her $10 million Manhattan apartment, that one day she would be able to move on from that humble abode to something more fitting. After working for MSNBC for a starting salary of a mere $600,000 per year, what else could she do? So I now pay her $3,000,000 a year to run the 'Foundation'.

So, as I travel across our kingdom to meet you all, I will be listening and sharing with you. Then, when the time for the royal election (Coronation) comes, I know I can count on you to crown me as your rightful monarch, with my assurance that I will continue King Obama’s policies, and we can all live happily ever after.

Your Queen-in-Waiting,
Hilarity Rodham Clinton

Thank You Brighid (LINK)

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Wednesday Fun

Thank You Facebook Friends

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Birthdays Can Cause Work ~OR~ TV Stands Woodsterman Style


Well, this top photo is a TV cabinet I made 25 years ago. 
It took four of us to get into the house because it's made of
solid oak. For my birthday I was told I could have the TV
of my choice (with in reason of course). I settled on this
48" Smart HDTV, and it was plenty because we sit about
10 feet away.  The two games Sunday were great!

I cut that cabinet in half and ended up with what you see
here. If you look closely you can see the original top is on
it. That top is solid oak 1 1/4 inches thick and made in a 
butcher block style. There's about 40 pieces 3/4 of and inch
thick all glued together ... AND HEAVY! I did not attach
the top this time so it can be moved in two pieces. There
are cleats that hold it in place. 

Thanks Mrs. Woodsterman! 

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Let's Hear It For Football ~ Woodsterman Style

Honoring the teams still left in it.


I had to stick my team in there for fun

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Computer Experts ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style


Here is a challenge!
For all of you who keep thinking you are computer experts...Let's see how computer
literate you are.
123490=qweriop[ asdhjkl (zxcvnm

Friday, January 22, 2016

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

A Must Have In Every Home In America!

A must have in every home in America!

For everyone who would rather not have a gun in the house!

In view of the recent Supreme Court ruling, sales of this new product may skyrocket.

Washington thinks they are going to take away our guns, so check this out. I like it!

NAIL GUNS! AND, you don't even have to REGISTER them or have LICENSES for them!

AND, you don't have to worry about them being CONCEALED!

Just a LOT of good stuff to do with THIS!

Once in a while something so totally cool comes out that even a guy who doesn't normally even know what he'd like for Father's Day or Christmas would immediately ask for it:

Thank you, DeWalt!!!

New Nail Gun, made by DeWalt.  It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2x4 at 200 yards.

This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence.

Hundred round magazine.

Someone invades your home, just nail their ass.

Thanks Hal

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

The Debt Ceiling . . . .

I love it when a complicated situation can 
be explained in such simple terms!

* Democrats don't understand

* Republicans don't understand

* Liberals don't understand  

* NO ONE understands  

SO, allow me to explain ...

Let's say you come home from work and find there 
has been a sewer-backup in your neighborhood.  
Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceiling.

What do you think you should do?

1. raise the ceiling, or
2. pump out the shit?

Your choice is coming in November 2016

Thanks Hal

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Sea Story . . . .

There's an old sea story about a  ship's Captain who 
inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first  
mate that his men smelled bad.

 The Captain  suggested perhaps it would help if the 
sailors would change underwear  occasionally.
The first mate responded, "Aye,  aye sir, 
I'll see to it immediately!"

The first mate went straight to the  sailors' berth 
deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys 
smell bad  and wants you to change your underwear."

He continued, "Pittman, you change  with Jones, 
McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, 
you change  with Schultz."


Someone may come along and promise  "Change", 
but don't count on things smelling any  better.

Thanks Hal


Saturday, January 16, 2016

Neighbors ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

 I popped my head over my sexy neighbor's fence today to see her lying in her bikini.
"Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR."

"Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?"

"No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Dog Day Afternoon ~OR~ Please Pass The Bacon


Let's hear it for the Baconator!

Thanks Hal

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Wizzers For A Wednesday

 When we had snowmobiles we called this "High Speed Tape"

Thanks Facebook Friends