Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Woman Driver . . . .


This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman
 
In a brand new Cadillac Doing 65 mph With her Face up next to her
Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner.
 

I looked away For a couple seconds... To continue shaving
And when I looked back, she was Halfway over in my lane,
Still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I had to put on my seat belt And I dropped My electric shaver,

Which knocked The donut Out of my other hand.
In all The confusion of trying To straighten out the car
Using my knees against The steering wheel, It knocke
My Cell Phone Away from my ear Which fell into my coffee which was Between my legs, Splashed, And burned
Big Jim and the Twins.

Ruined the damn phone, Soaked my trousers, And disconnected an Important call.
 
Damn women drivers!


Thanks Brig

18 comments:

Adrienne said...

Bib Jim and the Twins? Bwwhaaaahaaa

And that gif in hilarious. Perfect ending for that dickwad passing on the right. I've had that happen to me, and it pisses me off no end.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahaha. I'm guessing if she noticed you she would have been scared half to death too. Good thing she was busy putting on that eyeliner.

Loved the gif. Serves this idiot right. What some folks will do to get two car lengths ahead of everyone else.

Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

LL said...

I hate it when that happens.

edutcher said...

I've seen women doing that.

Doing 80.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, that's always a sign you're not driving fast enough for that asshat.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, Hey! I resemble that remark.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, how often?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, I had a beautiful lady pass me on I-5 doing about 80. I passed her when she was doing 55 in the fast lane while texting. A half an hour later she passed me again doing 80 and not texting. Isn't there a law?

GruntOfMonteCristo said...

Odie & Edutcher - There IS a law. I thought the minimum speed on I-5 was 80mph. That's the lowest speed I've ever seen anybody doing. If she dropped to 55mph, that's a huge traffic obstruction!

Brig - Great joke!

Diogenes Sarcastica™ said...

I for one would never think of such a dangerous thing as putting on eyeliner while driving. I stick to just to lipstick and mascara. ;)

Mike aka Proof said...

I wonder how much time that fellow passing on the right saved after he drove up on that rail?

I drove 55 on I-5 once. I was coming back from LA on the Friday I woke up to a recall notice that said my vehicle's front wheels could fall off. I was a speed bump.

trailbee said...

So, like Big Jim did what? Shrink? Again? Poor baby. :)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Grunt, she was a great obstruction.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

DS, Me Too!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, bump bump ....

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Trailbee, it's a hide and seek game.

Zilla said...

OMGosh, that's the funniest thing I've seen all week. Thanks for the good laughs!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Mare, you betcha!