Thursday, December 31, 2015

Merry Christmas Italian Style

New Years Eve tonight ... Please be careful!
Thanks Hal

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The Scottish Baby Boy

A Scot was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his Cell phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he Announces his wife has just produced a typical Scottish baby boy Weighing 25 pounds .

             Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds ,
             But the man just shrugs, "That's about average up our way Folks I said - my boy's a typical Highland baby boy."
             Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says  "Say, you're the father of that typical Scottish baby that weighed 25 Pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been making' bets about how Big he'd be in two weeks..... so how much does he weigh now?"

             The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
             The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He was 25 pounds the day he was born."
The father takes a slow swig from his Johnny Walker Whisky, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly
             Says, "Had him circumcised."

Thank You Brighid (LINK) 

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Here We Go . . . .

The latest toy has hit the shops for Christmas ... A talking Muslim doll.

Nobody knows what the hell it says, because no one has the balls to pull the cord.

Thanks Hal

Monday, December 28, 2015

Friday, December 25, 2015

Have A White Christmas Woodsterman Style

This video is a tradition at Woodsterman ~ Enjoy!
Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Merry Christmas From Woodsterman

Enjoy on this Special Eve!

Merry Christmas and I think You'll 
enjoy this "O' Holy Night"

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Somethings For A Tuesday

This last one is scary. Brace yourselves for our future.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Bubba From Texas . . . .

His name was Bubba, he was from Texas ... And he needed a loan, So...
He walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan
Officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an
International Redneck Festival for two weeks and needed to borrow
$5,000, and that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was
parked on the street in front of the bank.

The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh
at the Redneck from the Texas for using a $250,000 Ferrari as
collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the
bank's private underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the
interest of 23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a distinguished alumni from Texas A & M, a highly sophisticated investor and multi-millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweetwater, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my
car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"

His name was BUBBA.... Keep an eye on those Texas boys!
Just because we talk funny does not mean we are stupid !!!

Thanks Lloyd

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Little Thelma

Little Thelma comes home from 
first grade, and tells her
father that they learned about 
the history of Valentine's Day.
"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks,
"Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?
Thelma's father thinks a bit then says "No, I don't think God would get mad.

Who do you want to give a valentine to?”
"The whole ISIS group," she says.
"Why them," her father asks in shock?
"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have
enough love to give them a valentine, they might start to think that maybe
we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to them, they'd love everyone a lot. And then they'd start going all over the place telling everyone how much they loved them and how they didn't hate anyone anymore.”
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride.
"Thelma, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard.”
"I know," Thelma says, "and once that gets them out in the open, the
Marines could blow the shit out of them."

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Monday, December 14, 2015