Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Traffic Stop . . . .

A  motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red
light. The driver is a real bastard, steps out of his car and comes striding
toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the

So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.
The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual
orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.

The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.

When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH"
in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it
to The 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily,
and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to
know what it stands for.

The officer says,
"That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an asshole!"

Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving
record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his
license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.

On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the
red light.

Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a
reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"

Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his
signature and mine, same number at the top."

Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this
ticket you don't normally make?"

"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an
"AH," underlined."

"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"

"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."

"Aggressive and hostile?"

"Yes, Sir.

"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for asshole?"

Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.

How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client


LL said...

Aggressive and Hostile...excellent.

Fredd said...

Pretty fun joke, Odie.

BUT: all humor aside, this joke works because their is a grain of truth to the situation. The officer at the scene told the asshole that AH stood for 'asshole.' Nobody else around, just the constable and the jerk.

Then when time comes to swear on the Holy Bible to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me God, this officer lies and states for the record that the AH stands for aggressive and hostile.

And nobody on earth is going to take the word of the perp over the word of the officer. The officer KNOWS this, and can say anything they want to further the probability of the conviction of the perp.

And now police officers are the target of national anger for their degenerate methods during arrests, and they are scratching their heads, wondering what they as an institution have done to deserve this kind of widespread scorn?

But still, a funny joke, Odie.

Sandee said...

And now police officers are the target of national anger for their degenerate methods during arrests, and they are scratching their heads, wondering what they as an institution have done to deserve this kind of widespread scorn? Really Fredd? Really?

So this guy that's clearly an ass hole is the good guy? NOT!

Loved the joke Odie. It's spot on and it's funny.

Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, or Asshole.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Fredd, the cop told the guy it would remind him that he was an asshole. He did not say it stood for asshole.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, I'm with you.

Adrienne said...

Actually - most police officers do take notes on traffic stops so if they have to go to court they will not sound like a doofus. If you do go to court, it is always wise to ask to see the officers notes before your court date.

edutcher said...

I was thinking Adolf Hitler, but it all equals out.

Fredd said...

OK, you may have a point about AH being a reminder, Odie.

And don't get me wrong, the guy is a bonafide asshole and if justice is served, he will get slammed.

BUT: my point is still valid. Cops have abused the trust we have placed in them all too often. ONCE is too often. Maybe not THIS cop, but other cops are not all the righteous folk we expect them to b. And their abuse of those they have sworn to protect and serve happens more often than just 1% of the time. It happens a lot.

Still a good joke, though.

Ron Russell said...

My wife once prevented me from getting that marked on my tariff ticket while going thru the little town of Golden Meadow, LA with Arkansas plates. I was going 15 in a 30MPH zone because of a driving rain storm and knowing the reputation of that little town and out-of-state cars. I started to argue about the ticket and my wife nudged me to shut up and pay the ticket on the spot. Looking back, she made the right decision, because I would still be locked up in that hick jail had I continued! The right way often turns out to be the wrong way! Sadly it's true!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, Got it!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, you don't have an opinion huh.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Fredd, as bad as it might be, we're all human. Nice will beget nice.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, I would have reported that town to the state, or didn't they care.