Sunday, June 14, 2015

A Beauty In My Favorite Restaurant . . . .


I asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an 
unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table 
in my favorite cozy little restaurant.

So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said,
'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there'....
and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds,
not looking at me, then decided to send a reply 
to me by a note.The waiter, who was lingering 
nearby for a response, took the note from her 
and conveyed it to me.

*The note read:* 'For me to accept this bottle,
you need to have a Mercedes in your garage,
a million dollars in the bank
and 7 inches in your pants......
After reading the note, I decided to compose one 
of my own in return. I folded the note, handed it 
to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

*It read:* Just to let you know things aren't always 
what they appear to be:
I have a Ferrari Maranello,
a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a PorscheTurbo in 
my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and 
Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Texas .
There is over twenty million dollars in my bank 
account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as 
beautiful as you, would I cut off two inches.

Just send the f**king wine back.

Thanks Hal

28 comments:

GOODSTUFF said...

In Thai we have a good expression

น้ำบนใบหน้าของคุณ - water on your face

USA_Admiral said...

He only had to cut off two?

Fredd said...

That wine thing never works anyway. And with that kind of resume, what sort of jerk would ask for the wine back? Nobody likes an Indian giver.

Er, uh, excuse me. A Native-American giver is what I meant to say.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

GOODSTUFF, Okie Dokie ......

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, that's all.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Fredd, she said, "For me to accept this bottle." It wouldn't be a case of Native American giving at all. She would simply decline the bottle and return it to the waiter.

LL said...

"Native American giver" is out (PC police here). Now we call it "Indigenous Person giving". Do I have to monitor this blog continually to keep you on the straight and narrow path?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, thanks for keeping me on the PC straight and narrow. I guess no sense calling them Indians and Native Americans just because that evil white man Columbus was lost.

Adrienne said...

Seven inches? She shoots low...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, LOL!

Timothy Hecht said...

Not great negotiating skills.

stevebethere said...

Serves her bloody right LOLOL

Have a tanfabulous week ahead :-)

Chuck McCarroll aka Marine4Ever said...

Well, if you're gonna cull, Woody, can I have your leftovers?! I'm not proud... ('course I don't know where I'd get the extra five inches from.)

Ron Russell said...

We should all have his problem! Yea, I do have a new GUNS AND BIKINI site however, it has no feed. So I continue to post there and redirect to my new site. So the new post will reflect on the blogrolls of those who have been kind enough to list it. In short you will have to make no changes on your Man Cave listing. Took me a while to solve this feed thingy!

edutcher said...

Never look a gift bottle in the cork.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Timothy, she's probably a RINO.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Steve, she just aims too low.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Marine, go ahead, but I hear there's a rental agency for the other.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, I'll gitter changed in a few gitty-ups.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, you know what you're talking about.

Ron Russell said...

No Odie---No need to change it has been redirected. Changing would lead me without a feed. Hope you understand the meaning of what I comprehend.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha. Well, there you go.

Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. :)

Brighid said...

I agree with Adrienne, that woman aims low... as for the guy, usually the one that brags about it doesn't have it...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, got it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, yup.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brighid, numbers don't lie.

messymimi said...

Heeheehee! Serves her right!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

messymimi, yes it does.