Sunday, April 26, 2015
You're An EXTREME Redneck When...
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at
the dinner table; in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and
down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have
the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is out of your league
bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their
rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying,
'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7. You think Dom Perpignan is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner
are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded;
right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more
teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get
a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because
there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means
getting your wife drunk.
And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in an Alabama trailer park, were sitting
around talking one afternoon over a cold beer, after getting
off work at the local chicken processing plant.
After a while, the first guy says to the second, "If'n I was
to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your
wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and
had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The second guy crooked his head sideways for a minute,
scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard
about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know
about kin, but it would make us even!"