Monday, December 8, 2014

My Last Trip To Costco

Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog 
chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 
191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me 
asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told 
her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet 
again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in 
the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I 
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of 
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way 
that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets 
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food 
is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try 
it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line 
was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the 
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a 
Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a 
heart attack he was Laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you 
ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think 
of crazy things to say.

Thank You Mr. Trailbee.

QUESTION: I'm seeing a "reCAPTCHA" in my comments section. Is everyone seeing it? I've never had it before. I just bypassed it myself, but can you. I have it turned off in settings but it's still there for me. Let me know please.


Robert Fowler said...

I'll have to remember that one.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Robert, old guys have to jab em once in awhile.

LL said...

I may use that one.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, sure, have fun at your local Costco.

Unknown said...

Thanks......I love it

Curmudgeon said...

Have you tried the Blue Buffalo Life Protection diet?

It's made with only the finest natural ingredients and real meat. It offers you the wholesome nutrition to support a healthy lifestyle at any age even for senior dawgs like you.

Since it supports a healthy lifestyle, perhaps the inclination of stopping to pee on a hydrant could be eliminated.


Have a great week my friend.

Curmudgeon said...

BTW, I was able to bypass CAPTCHA.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahaha. I'd have been on the floor if I'd have been there. We retired folks can and do come up with some great stuff.

Yes you have CAPTCHA on in your comments. Thank goodness it's numbers and not letters. I can rarely get the letters.

Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

trailbee said...

Yep. It's there.

edutcher said...

I wasn't aware there's a "People Of Costco" site.

PS So which weighed 190 pounds, the bag or the dog?

cube said...

Seriously, that is one big assed dog. I think you made up this joke and you really have a teeny chihuahua ;)

Euripides said...

Now THAT's funny!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Unknown, thanks for loving it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Curmudgeon, but I like peeing on hydrants.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Curmudgeon, I need to find out why it's there.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, it was letters before. Try to bypass it. ignore it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Trailbee, damn I hate that. I can bypass it though.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, of course there's a "People of Costco" site.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Cube, guilty.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Euripides, yes it is.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...