Thursday, December 4, 2014

Curtain Rods



She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, 
crates and suitcases.
 
On the second day, she had the movers come and 
collect her things.
 
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their 
beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some 
soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, 
a jar of caviar and a bottle of spring-water.
 
When she had finished, she went into each and every room 
and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in 
caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
 
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was 
bliss for the first few days . Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. 

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam 
cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.  Exterminators 
were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to 
move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace 
the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to 
work in the house. The maid quit.
 
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
 
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, 
they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.    
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused 
to return their calls.
 
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from 
the bank to purchase a new place. 
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.     
He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely 
and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be 
willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange 
for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, 
he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house 
had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they 
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?!

Thank You Mr. Trailbee!

14 comments:

Curmudgeon said...

How is sweet is revenge when executed with such extreme class?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Curmudgeon, I love it.

Sandee said...

Yes, and this is a very happy ending. Very.

Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

LL said...

Sweet revenge.

edutcher said...

Sounds like something a feminist might dream up.

PS Also sounds like the reason hubbo dumped her in the first place.

Christopher said...

Love it!

Proof said...

"They took the curtain rods"
I did not see that coming! Cool story!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, I knew you girls would like this one.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, Sweet? You mean smelly?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, I get the feeling she was dumped for the younger woman.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Christopher, what's not to love.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, that will teach her huh.

cube said...

Note to self: Always check the curtain rods ;-)

Ron Russell said...

Just because it stinks doesn't mean its bad!