Tuesday, December 2, 2014

60 Plus


As You Mature, It's The Little Things That Don't 
Seem To Matter As Much As They used To!

This chick looked at my beer belly last night and 
sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or XXXX?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

I mean, when you are over sixty, who gives a  shit?

I was talking  to a girl in the bar last night.  She said, 
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got 
your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to 
your friends over there instead of you."

I mean, when you are over sixty, who gives a  shit?

I was telling a  girl in the pub about my ability to guess 
what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she  said, "Go on then...try." 
After about  thirty seconds of fondling she
 began to lose patience and said, 
"Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."

I mean, when you are over sixty, who gives a  shit?

I got caught  taking a piss in the local swimming pool  today.  
The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
I mean, when you are over sixty, who gives a  shit?

I went to the  pub last night and saw an obese chick 
dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs."
She giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so?" 
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Honestly, when you are over sixty, who really gives a shit?

Thanks Dan !

16 comments:

Adrienne said...

It's all true!

Sandee said...

Spot on Odie, these are spot on.

Have a fabulous day. ☺

trailbee said...

Yes, it is true. Then you get into the 70s and it gets even better. It's really amazing what you can blame on Alzheimers/senility/hearing loss or your current idiot meds. And you don't have to apologize, but just get that crap out of your system, and then go home and have a drink :)

cube said...

I'll let you know how much of a shit I give when I reach sixty.

edutcher said...

Yesterday indeed.

Euripides said...

I have a table like that. It's the best.

Brighid said...

A lot of truth here!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, of course it's true.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, and I've lived every one.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Traibee, we all stop apologizing after our 60th birthday.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Cube, youngster?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Euripides, have any good leg testers your way?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brighid, nothing but truth here ... LOL.

Euripides said...

Odie: Heck yeah I have leg testers. You should see the feminists who inhabit my department at school.

cube said...

Younger than thee,
doesn't make me,
a youngster.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Cube, take a compliment when you can.