Thursday, October 31, 2013

For Opie ~ A Special Halloween Chip N' Duds

Whoa! Happy Heavenly Halloween You All!

Opie, how about a special Christmas preview.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Bowling Alley in Florida

Bowling Alley in Florida
What a way to vent frustration!

After Losing money for years and the guy was ready 
to close up and shut it down, he tried one last thing, 
and now business is booming, wonder why?

Clever! What a money- maker!

Bowling alley in Florida (Your laugh for the day)

A bowling alley in Clearwater, FL 
is doing a record business:

Very Interesting!!

Want to knock his teeth out?

A bowling alley in Clearwater , Florida , Bowl-O-Bama, 
is doing record business despite a bad economy.  
The alley also reported a record number of 300 games.

Since opening in November 2010, 
963 patrons have bowled a perfect game,
including strikes in the warm-up frames.  
This alley also has the highest bowling league average 
in the country, with a 237. And that's the senior league.

They aren't sure why, but seems as tho they don't have
 many democrats or immigrants bowling.......

Thanks Dan !

Monday, October 28, 2013

I Just Can't Seem To Get A Break - 2

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started…..


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high 
school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken 
man swigging his drink as
he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes”, she sighed,
“He’s my old boyfriend…. I understand he took 
to drinking right
after we split up those many years ago, 
and I hear he hasn’t
been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person 
could go on celebrating that long?”

And then the fight started…

Sunday, October 27, 2013

I Just Can't Seem To Get A Break

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law 
a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift…
The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
“Well, you still haven’t used the gift 
I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A 
Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’
‘No,’ she answered.
I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started…

Thank Dan !

Friday, October 25, 2013

A Dad's Reply

As told by my imaginary daughter:

I took my dad, Woodsterman, to the mall the other 
day to buy some new shoes (he is 66).

We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to       

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors -
green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at her.

The teenager kept looking and would find my dad
staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, she
sarcastically asked:
"What's the matter old man, never done anything
wild in your life?"

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so
that I would not choke on his response, I knew he
would have a good one!

In classic style he responded without batting an
eyelid .....
"Got stoned once and had sex with a parrot. I was
just wondering if you are my kid."

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Your Government Made Easy . . . . Well . . . .

And you ask: "Could a sheeple understand this?"

This is a little old, but the message hasn't changed.
Below: A sheeple that could be the one's son.
Thanks David !

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Dianne Again .... Whoa ....

Post Office Sales
The US has entered into a contract with a real estate firm to sell 56 buildings that currently house U.S. Post Offices. The government has decided it no longer needs these buildings, most of which are located on prime land in towns and cities across the country. The sale of these properties will fetch about $19 billion.
A regular real estate commission will be paid to the company that was given the exclusive listing for handling the sales.
That company is CRI and it belongs to a man named Richard Blum.
Richard Blum is the husband of Senator Dianne Feinstein. (Most voters and many of the government people who approved the deal have not made the connection between the two because they have different last names).

Senator Feinstein and her husband stand to make a fortune (est at between $950 million and $1.1 billion!!) from these transactions.
His company is the sole real estate on the sale. CRI will be making a minimum of 3% and as much as 6% commission on each and every sale.
All of the properties that are being sold are all fully paid for. They were purchased with U.S. taxpayers dollars. The U.S.P.S. is allowed free and clear, tax exempt use. The only cost to keep them open is the cost to actually keep the doors open and the heat and lights on.
The United States Postal Service doesn't even have to pay county property taxes on these subject properties.
Would you put your house in foreclosure just because you couldn't afford to pay the electric bill?
Well, the folks in Washington have given the Post Office the OK to do it! Worse yet,most of the net proceeds of the sales will go back to the U.S.P.S, an organization that is so poorly managed that they have lost $117 billion dollars in the past 10 years!
No one in the mainstream media is even raising an eyebrow over the conflict of interest and on the possibility of corruption on the sale of billions of dollars worth of public assets.
How does a U.S. Senator from San Francisco manage to get away with organizing and lobbying such a sweet deal? Has our government become so elitist that they have no fear of oversight?
And it's no mere coincidence that these two public service crooks have different last names; a feeble attempt at avoiding transparency in these type of transactions.
Pass this info on before it's pulled from the internet.
Verified on Snopes:

I couldn't help myself.

Monday, October 21, 2013

LA Times Quote Of The Decade

Oh my hell this guy nails it. Californians take note.
“Frankly, I don’t know what it is about California, but we seem to have a strange urge to elect really obnoxious women to high office.
I’m not bragging, you understand, but no other state, including Maine, even comes close. When it comes to sending left-wing dingbats to Washington, we’re Number One. There’s no getting around the fact that the last time anyone saw the likes of Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Maxine Waters, and Nancy Pelosi, they were stirring a cauldron when the curtain went up on ‘Macbeth’.
The four of them are like jackasses who happen to possess the gift of blab. You don’t know if you should condemn them for their stupidity or simply marvel at their ability to form words.”
— Columnist Burt Prelutsky, Los Angeles Times in response to Dianne Feinsteins unbelievable comment that “All vets are mentally ill in some way and government should prevent them from owning firearms”

 Stolen From Jeff at "A Nod To The Gods" (LINK)

Sunday, October 20, 2013

RINO Alert .... RINO Alert .... 4

I'm sure you've all heard of the Lion King ... well ...

If the RINOs were an orchestra here is their conductor.
This moron has the audacity to refer to himself as
Conservative. This little pasty boy needs to rid the
countryside of truffles. This is the man that has his
hand up Reince Priebus' back, as in puppet master.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Friday, October 18, 2013

Posts That Reflect My Mood

I expected the Dems to do exactly what they did,
but the RINOs need to be replaced ... every damn one!

(He gets to inherit this mess)


Thursday, October 17, 2013

Republicrats Lost ... COWARDS!!!!

Thank you Senators Cruz and Lee for showing us
how to fight!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Obama and Other Funny Things

Did the boy king get Putin's approval for this?

Gun Show Sign

I dedicate this to Obama and Bob Costas

May the libs of the world choke on their own stupidity.

Thanks Odie !

Monday, October 14, 2013

Be Strong

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked 
up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he 
finds a young couple in bed. First he ties the man to a chair. 
While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top 
of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and 
goes into the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! 
He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and 
hasn’t seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, 
don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. 
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. 
This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, 
he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was 
whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks 
you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told 
him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

Thanks Dan !

Sunday, October 13, 2013

RINO Alert .... RINO Alert .... 3

 Lindsey Graham, aka: RINO

This disgusting worm thinks his fellow Senator and
Patriot, Ted Cruz, is more dangerous than the libs in
the Senate or even terrorists. This man even bad-mouths
his fellow GOP senators to the media for doing the
"Peoples" work. 

Like his good buddy, John McCain, he is more interested
in being reelected and cocktail parties with democrats
and the news media than he is in his country. He is an elitist
Republican  of the first order.

I have had some propaganda / donation requests sent to me
via the Republican Party. They even sent me a membership
card. I had some scathing responses made out to
return with no donation. I decided to be civil and just not
respond. Now mind you I never answered any of these some
50 or so letters sent in the past two years. However, I just
received a letter from them titled "Sorry, We'll Miss You".
I'm still a registered Republican, I still donate to them on
occasion (actually to candidates only) , and I still vote a Republican ticket. SO, they say
good-bye to me. Are they F***ing kidding. They and 
Senator Lindsey Graham left me years ago.

 Lindsey Graham and his best friend Chuck U. Schumer

Friday, October 11, 2013

Psychology 101 - Caged Monkeys

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, 
hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of 
stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs 
and climb toward the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys 
with cold water.

After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result... 
all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when 
another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try 
to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away.Remove one monkey from the 
cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. 
To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the living daylights out 
of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries 
to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, 
replacing it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous 
newcomer takes part in the punishment...... with enthusiasm, 
because he is now part of the "team".

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by 
the fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the 
stairs, he is attacked.

Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they 
were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why 
they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the 
remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. 
Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway 
for the banana.

Why, you ask? Because in their minds...
that is the way it has always been!

This, my friends, is how Congress operates... and this is why, 
from time to time:

ALL of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME.

Thursday, October 10, 2013



Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster 
speaking in , Ontario , says......

"I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against 
another mosque being built in Toronto . I think it should 
be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless 
of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, 
in an effort to promote tolerance.

 That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened 
next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance from 
within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which 
would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," 
and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot."

 Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, 
and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, 
called "Iraq o' Ribs."

 Across the street there could be a lingerie store called 
"Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret,"  with sexy mannequins 
in the window modeling the goods.

 Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for 
an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge," its name in 
flashing neon lights, and on the other side a 
liquor store called  "Morehammered."

 All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate 
the tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque issue 
would not be a problem for others."

 Yes we should promote tolerance, 
and you can do your part by passing this on.

And if your are not laughing or smiling at this point... 
it is past your bedtime, and take your camel to bed!!!!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

NewsBusted 10/08/13 ~

Well all good things must come to an end.
Headed back home to finish my winterizing
chores. Ah, but first a woodworking store
in Reno is having a sale on bowl turning
blanks. I'll have to check that out on my way
out of town.

Enjoy NewsBusted below. It took about 15
minutes to embed the darn thing ... Great WIFI.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Expert Lemon Picker

Sally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida
Decided to take one of the jobs that most 
Americans are not willing to do.
Sally applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher.
The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said:
"I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Chryslers and I voted for Obama."

Sunday, October 6, 2013

RINO Alert .... RINO Alert .... 2

May I present the greatest RINO of them all.

Here he is, "Mr. Reach Across the Aisle."

John McCain hates everything the TEA Party
stands for because they believe in limited government.
He loses power under that scenario. This is the power
the main stream media has bestowed him as the "official"
voice for the Republican Party. The Lame Stream Media
loves this man because he agrees and fights for the ideals
of the left more than he does his own party's or the 
American People.

Well John, get back to your cocktail party with Chuck U. Schumer.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Naming a Dog ... And ...


BONUS *************************** BONUS

Those of you that have been coming here for awhile
know it's that time when I take a little R&R in Reno
at a casino RV park in the motorhome. I actually got
here yesterday. I'm taking about 6 days of relaxation.
Most of my posts are preposted. I do have internet here
but sometimes it can be a bit slow. You see part of my
R&R is being able to use the computer without getting
the evil eye from Mrs. Woodsterman. And while I'm here
I will bet on Red !