16 Police Officers Comments

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. 
The comments were taken off actual police car videos 
around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the 
one you just went through."
 
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. 
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
 
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your 
birth certificate a worthless document."
 
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
 
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? 
Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be 
chasing you."(LOVE IT)
 
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I 
guess that means I can write anything I want to 
on the ticket, huh?"(MY FAVORITE)
 
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but 
I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm 
the shift supervisor?"
 
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning 
you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
 
9. "The answer to this last question will determine 
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat 
or a dog?"
 
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place 
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn 
dogs and step in monkey poop."
 
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my 
wife gets a toaster oven."
 
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
( National Crime Information Center )
 
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
 
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but 
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
 
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal 
friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? 
You're right, we don't.. Sign here."