Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live with.
DIVORCE AGREEMENT-- This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly believe it's by a young person, a student!! Whatever he runs for, I'll vote for him! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:
We have stuck together since the late 1950’s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.
2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.
6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.
9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Prius hatchback you can find.
16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors..
17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not an entitlement.
18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".
20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.
22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American
P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, George Clooney, Jesse Jackson, Rosanne Barr and Whoopi Goldberg with you. You can start your own Congress with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Al Franken, Maxine Waters, and Barney Frank.
You can have Obama to head your Socialist government and anoint him with the title "Dearest Leader".
P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country. **If you can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front of them! **
Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane.
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane.
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first
passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked,
"little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little
girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty".
Next they passed a little boy
was also crying. And they again asked,
"little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?"
and the little boy said, "a lemon came
and killed my new puppy."
Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked,
"why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde
said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"
This bridge is on the Old Donner Pass Highway . It has a spectacular view of Donner Lake and Donner Pass on Route 40.
(Down the road from me.)
A bear was walking across Rainbow Bridge ( Old Hwy 40 at Donner Summit , Truckee ) on Saturday when two cars, also crossing the bridge, scared the bear into jumping over the edge of the bridge. Somehow the bear caught the ledge and was able to pull itself to safety. Authorities decided that nothing could be done to help Saturday night so they returned Sunday morning to find the bear sound asleep on the ledge.
After securing a net under the bridge the bear was tranquilized, fell into the net, lowered, then woke up and walked out of the net.
There is a moral to this story; this old bear made a wrong move and found he was hanging by his nails. Somehow he was able to pull himself up onto the ledge where he saw he was in a very bad, impossible situation and what did he do? Yep, he took a nap and sure enough, God took care of the situation while he was asleep.
The moral of the story is that when confronted with a bad situation, sometimes the best solution is to take a nap and let God take care of the rest.
I think I'm going to take a nap right now. God is on the job. Hugs, Prayers and Sweet Dreams to our Bunni !
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