This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living
room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him
that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
The Presidential election of 2012 was too close to call. Neither Mitt
Romney nor Barack Obama had enough electoral votes to win. There was
much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but it was
mutually decided that a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the
most sportsmanlike way to settle this election.
*The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would
win the election and become the President of the United States of
After much of back and forth negotiations, it was decided that the
contest would take place on the remote frozen Lake Metigoshe, in north
central North Dakota, a non-swing state that could be considered a
neutral site. There were to be no observers present with each fishing
candidate. Both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake
near the Canadian border. Both would return at 5 PM with their day's
catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.
*At the end of the first day *of fishing in sub-zero temperatures out on
the lake, The Michigan raised Mitt Romney returned to the starting line
and he had 10 walleyes.
Soon thereafter, Barack Obama returned and had no fish.
Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day, or something, and
hopefully, he would catch up with the next day's fishing tally.
*At the end of the second day,* Mitt came in with 20 northern pike and Barack came in again with none.
*That evening,* the Democratic Advisors, Cabinet Members, Appointees and
Czars to Obama got together secretly, and his Campaign Manager, David
Axelrod said, "We think Romney is a low-life, cheating Republican
son-of-a-gun. Tomorrow, we all recommend that you don't even bother
fishing, President Obama. Hide on the shore in the evergreens and spy
on Romney to see how he's cheating so we can expose the truth about his
"not being fair". We can leak that shocking revelation to our friends
in the media so the public will be on our side, regardless of the
outcome of the agreed competition.
*The next night,* after Mitt returned with 50 walleyes, pike and trout
and Barack again had none, the Democrats got together to hear Barack
Obama's eye witness report of how the Republicans were cheating.
The astonished incumbent Obama told his supporters,
*"Let me, umm, make this, umm, perfectly clear...you're not gonna to believe this... but he's cuttin holes in the ice!"*
This will be a collection of videos, photographs, and funny stories that have been sent to me by various people. These are here for your amusement and enjoyment. None are meant to offend, but some might. I hope to post something new here each day.
WARNING: It's best to come here on an empty stomach, and please don't take a mouthful of coffee until you've read the latest post.
As the new videos from News Busted come out, they will be embedded here as well. "Let's get started."
Obama, your Imperial Majesty has spoken
IT SEEMS THAT OBAMA'S PEN IS MORE POWERFUL THAT THE FOUNDERS QUILL!
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