Sunday, April 29, 2012

Trailer Trash

Dear Friends,
I want to be trailer trash. They did not cause any of the 
problems that our country faces today. They did not get 
mortgages they couldn't afford. They did not run banks 
to the ground with greed. They did not use investors for 
their personal benefit. They don't even belong to the unions 
that ask too much of their companies.
I'm tired of paying mortgage bills, utility bills, property taxes.

I want to live more simply, pack up the dogs and move into 
a travel-trailer.

I don't mind being called 'trailer trash', but I wanted to get 
your opinion.

What do you think about my decision?
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine..and those who don't and 
are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand.

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

Thanks David !

Friday, April 27, 2012

I Don't Know Where Jodi Is ... So ...

Finally !

A wine

glass that

makes sense !


Six !

Thursday, April 26, 2012

WalMartians Visit Us Again

 Are those earmuffs?? and a whistle??
 Back boobs? Push up butt underwear?

 Leg boobs?
Truer words have never been written on the back of a giant wheel chair.
You can't say Carl doesn't enjoy him some Turkey Day.

Thank You Stopsign (LINK)

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Navy Did What?

What in the world is going on? 
Releasing a terrorist and giving 
him a car - what next

Thanks David !

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Thought for the Day

"Apparently, I'm supposed to be more angry about 
what Mitt Romney does with his money 
than what Barack Obama does with mine."


Brilliant in its simplicity................. 

A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.

B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.

C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.

D. In three generations, there will be no Democrats.
I love it when a plan comes together!



Thanks David ! 


OH ... Happy Earth Day Morons !
 Thanks OWS

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Photo Opportunity . . . Smile!

A British Royal Air Force Typhoon pilot
flies up to the back door of a C-130
(Hercules) for a photo opportunity.

 He radios,"How much closer do you want me?"
 They radio,"How much closer can you get?"
 Pilot Radios,.........”Close enough?”
You have to be a tad mad to be a fighter pilot
in today's world but, even crazier to be a
photographer looking down those
air intakes!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Mexican Oysters

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day 
roaming around in Mexico .

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious 
looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it 
look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! 
Those are called "Cojones de Toro",.... bull testicles from the
 bull fight this morning. A mucho grande delicacy!'
 The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order..'

The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry, senor. There is only one 
serving per day because there is only one bull fight each 
morning. If you come early and place your order, we will 
be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, 
and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy 
of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called 
to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, 
much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 
'Si, Senor.......Sometimes, the bull wins'.
Thanks David!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Old Butch

Old Butch

John was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Saint Lawrence County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully this fall, the bells are not always audible.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Letter from the Boss:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the 
fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and 
government fees will increase in a BIG way.  To compensate for 
these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%

But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the 
dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our 
employees instead.  This has really been bothering me, since I 
believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who 
would have to go.
So, this is what I did.
I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper 
stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will 
be the ones to let go.  I can't think of a more fair way to approach 
this problem.  They voted for change, I gave it to them.
I will see the rest of you at the Annual Company Picnic.

Happy Tax Day! 

Saturday, April 14, 2012

My Rezimay ~ OR ~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Deer Sur,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job I seen in the
paper. I can type real kwik wit one finggar and do
Sum Acounting 2.
I think I am good on the fone and I am a pepole
person.   Pepole really seam to respond good to me.

Im lookin for a jobb as a secritary but it kant be 2

My spelling is not 2 good but find that I awfin get a
job Bcuz of my persinalety..

My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want
to pay me and wat you think that I am wurth,

I can start imeditely.  Thank you in advanse 4 yore

Hopifuly I M Yore best aplicant so phar


Peggy May McBiggins

PS : I half includeded a
pickture of me B low.

 Dear Peggy May:

Start on Monday,
we have spell check.

Thank You Nominedeus (LINK)

Thursday, April 12, 2012

They're Back .... Wallyworld Munchkins IV

Ummm, NO!
I think we just found Nemo. Must have been a miss-match sale at Goodwill.
Excuse me, sir, your bikini top is untied.
Jim's wife had no clue where her thong had disappeared to.
Connie found her favorite shorts from the second grade and discovered they still fit -- almost.

Thank You Stopsign (LINK)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

They're Back .... Wallyworld Munchkins III

 Ever wondered what happened to Bozo the Clown? Wonder no more.

 To all you kids out there with tats and piercings; this is you in 40 years!
 Speechless ?
 Pink looks good on Bill. Especially with the black skirt! Wait, is that a bra?
Please tell me Aunt Harriet is sleep walking again.

Thank You Stopsign (LINK)

Monday, April 9, 2012

They're Back .... Wallyworld Munchkins II

 Taniqua's thong is one of the new high rider models.
Lateesha done got her a new weave and damn it she's looking so good you can play checkers on it!
 After shopping Bertha is going to the movies - she has already picked her seat.
 Look at my slippers like that again and I'll KEEL YOU!
What? Hookers gotta shop too.

Thank You Stopsign (LINK)