Sunday, July 31, 2011

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Hold Your Breath OR Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Sorry for not doing you all justice by not making my
rounds to all of your blogs. I've been getting my ass
kicked with the business lately. I have a show this
weekend with thunder showers expected ... oh boy.  
The business web site had to be moved to a new host 
this week because Apple decided not to host web sites 

So, I'll be back true to obnoxious form on Monday. I'll
be able to peek around the blogs a little this weekend.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Monday, July 25, 2011

Bottoms Up !

GOT YA !!... Now that is a big ass balloon!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

San Diego Woman Shot in the Head

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her
in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to 
pick up some groceries. 

Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the 
driveway with the windows rolled up and with her
eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. 
He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed 
that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. 
He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she  had 
been shot in the back of the head and had been holding
her brains in for over an hour.

The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car
because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove 
her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister 
had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded 
like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her
head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt 
the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, 
but quickly recovered.
Linda is blonde, a Democrat and an Obama supporter, 
but that could all be a coincidence.

The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and it 
was determined to be Bush's fault.
Thanks David !

Saturday, July 23, 2011

OOPS ~ OR ~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

I just have nothing to add ... nor do I want to.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Boehner Doesn't Like Jello . . .

KKOH Radio in Reno has a Jello Drive Going.

It is urged that you send jello to the White House at:
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington D.C., 20500


NewsBusted 7/22/11 ~

Monday, July 18, 2011

Our Favorite ... Demotivational Poster (The Rest)

 Last but not least ... Allison's favorite
Thank You Allison ~ (H/T) A Daily Laugh

Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Tunnel ~ OR ~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Sitting together on a train were Obama, George W. Bush, 
a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later 
there is the sound of a loud slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, 
Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.

No one speaks.

The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the 
blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.

The blonde girl thinks: Obama must have tried 
to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled 
the old lady and she slapped him.

Obama thinks: Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark. 
She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

George Bush thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, 
so I can slap the shit out of Obama again!!
Thanks David !

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Boycott in Arizona is Working

Illegal immigrants are boycotting Arizona by the thousands,
showing their outrage with Arizona's new SB-1070 law by 
moving elsewhere. 

In the small town of Guadalupe, AZ , south of Phoenix, 
Manuel Renaldo is one of those who is punishing 
Arizona by leaving.
As he loaded his stolen car with his stolen belongings and 
family of ten, Renaldo told this reporter through an interpreter,
"It's a matter of principle; I refuse to be supported by a 
state that treats me like a criminal!"
"He and his family are moving to California, which is a 
state that will support him and his family with dignity!"

The effects of the exodus are being felt by Arizona retailers, 
who are reporting dwindling sales of beer, spray paint, 
and ammunition.
Also hit hard are the state’s hospitals, which have reported a 
dramatic decline in births and emergency room visits.
Tattoo parlors are in a state of panic.

Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Rumor of the Day . . .

It was rumored today that 
Mitch McConnell
wears women's underwear!

Translations of California Euphemisms

Translations of California Euphemisms:


Monday, July 11, 2011

Really, Walmart Again? #4

Let's round this round up with this last round . . .
You just brightened up everyone’s day! Seriously, they will have to turn the lighting down on their computer so there won’t be this pink beam filling up their office area and attracting the attention of their bosses!
 I guess I could see how someone would get pretty tuckered out throwing down a Big Gulp and breathing.
 Oh baby, but really, I prefer my imagination.
 I know candy can turn sour, but what about candy stripers?
Ok errybody, let me tell you erry thang you need to know about errbrushed shirts. Dem for little gerls on vacation!…Fo Reals!

Thanks David !

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Really, Walmart Again? #3

 I have been vindicated !
 That could be the most inappropriate shirt to wear in public in the whole world?
 I won't touch this, but mirrors were invented for times like these.
 ♫ This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow; Pirate so brave on the seven seas; A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga; Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze ♫
It’s obvious that both of these ladies look phenomenal in pink, but who would you rather wake up next to?

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Really, Walmart Again? #2

We're doing another show so I've left you with some
 Oh God! What is that!? It looks so angry!
 Hey Snooki, thanks for the effort you put into covering up.
 “The Butterfly Effect” because when you bend over it looks like you sat on a butterfly…
 Can someone please explain to me how something like this happens? I mean WTF ?
Look at those luscious boobs on…OH MY GOD! More Back Boob !

Friday, July 8, 2011

Really, Walmart Again?

 Wow! Who in the hell did you think you were gonna fool with all that junk on your car?
 It’s not delivery, it’s a dumbass.
Bitch, where is my money? You’ve been late 4 times. Now back on yo back.

Thanks David!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Monday, July 4, 2011

LL, back at you ...

My favorite version ever sung of Our National Anthem !

God bless OUR country on her day of Independence !

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Have You Ever Had Beer For Breakfast ? OR Pull !

Let's have some Redneck fun!
There is a longer version, but it didn't allow for embedding.
Longer Version :

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Why California is Broke !

These California state agencies are all taxpayer funded.

California Academic Performance Index (API) * California Access for Infants and Mothers * California Acupuncture Board * California Administrative Office of the Courts * California Adoptions Branch * California African American Museum * California Agricultural Export Program * California Agricultural Labor Relations Board * California Agricultural Statistics Service * California Air Resources Board (CARB) * California Allocation Board * California Alternative Energy and Advanced Transportation Financing Authority * California Animal Health and Food Safety Services * California Anti-Terrorism Information Center * California Apprenticeship Council * California Arbitration Certification Program * California Architects Board * California Area VI Developmental Disabilities Board * California Arts Council * California Asian Pacific Islander Legislative Caucus * California Assembly Democratic Caucus * California Assembly Republican Caucus * California Athletic Commission * California Attorney General * California Bay Conservation and Development Commission * California Bay-Delta Authority * California Bay-Delta Office * California Biodiversity Council * California Board for Geologists and Geophysicists * California Board for Professional Engineers and Land Surveyors * California Board of Accountancy * California Board of Barbering and Cosmetology * California Board of Behavioral Sciences * California Board of Chiropractic Examiners * California Board of Equalization (BOE) * California Board of Forestry and Fire Protection * California Board of Guide Dogs for the Blind * California Board of Occupational Therapy * California Board of Optometry * California Board of Pharmacy * California Board of Podiatric Medicine * California Board of Prison Terms * California Board of Psychology * California Board of Registered Nursing * California Board of Trustees * California Board of Vocational Nursing and Psychiatric Technicians * California Braille and Talking Book Library * California Building Standards Commission * California Bureau for Private Postsecondary and Vocational Education * California Bureau of Automotive Repair * California Bureau of Electronic and Appliance Repair * California Bureau of Home Furnishings and Thermal Insulation * California Bureau of Naturopathic Medicine * California Bureau of Security and Investigative Services * California Bureau of State Audits * California Business Agency * California Business Investment Services (CalBIS) * California Business Permit Information (CalGOLD) * California Business Portal * California Business, Transportation and Housing Agency * California Cal Grants * California CalJOBS * California Cal-Learn Program * California CalVet Home Loan Program * California Career Resource Network * California Cemetery and Funeral Bureau * California Center for Analytical Chemistry * California Center for Distributed Learning * California Center for Teaching Careers (Teach California) * California Chancellors Office * California Charter Schools * California Children and Families Commission * California Children and Family Services Division * California Citizens Compensation Commission * California Civil Rights Bureau * California Coastal Commission * California Coastal Conservancy * California Code of Regulations * California Collaborative Projects with UC Davis * California Commission for Jobs and Economic Growth * California Commission on Aging * California Commission on Health and Safety and Workers Compensation * California Commission on Judicial Performance * California Commission on State Mandates * California Commission on Status of Women * California Commission on Teacher Credentialing * California Committee on Dental Auxiliaries * California Community Colleges Chancellors Office, Junior Colleges * California Community Colleges Chancellors Office * California Complaint Mediation Program * California Conservation Corps * California Constitution Revision Commission * California Consumer Hotline * California Consumer Information Center * California Consumer Information * California Consumer Services Division * California Consumers and Families Agency * California Contractors State License Board * California Corrections Standards Authority * California Council for the Humanities * California Council on Criminal Justice * California Council on Developmental Disabilities * California Court Reporters Board * California Courts of Appeal * California Crime and Violence Prevention Center * California Criminal Justice Statistics Center * California Criminalist Institute Forensic Library * California CSGnet Network Management * California Cultural and Historical Endowment * California Cultural Resources Division * California Curriculum and Instructional Leadership Branch * California Data Exchange Center * California Data Management Division * California Debt and Investment Advisory Commission * California Delta Protection Commission * California Democratic Caucus * California Demographic Research Unit * California Dental Auxiliaries * California Department of Aging * California Department of Alcohol and Drug Programs * California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control Appeals Board * California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control * California Department of Boating and Waterways (Cal Boating) * California Department of Child Support Services (CDCSS) * California Department of Community Services and Development * California Department of Conservation * California Department of Consumer Affairs * California Department of Corporations * California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation * California Department of Developmental Services * California Department of Education * California Department of Fair Employment and Housing * California Department of Finance * California Department of Financial Institutions * California Department of Fish and Game * California Department of Food and Agriculture * California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (CDF) * California Department of General Services * California Department of General Services, Office of State Publishing * California Department of Health Care Services * California Department of Housing and Community Development * California Department of Industrial Relations (DIR) * California Department of Insurance * California Department of Justice Firearms Division * California Department of Justice Opinion Unit * California Department of Justice, Consumer Information, Public Inquiry Unit * California Department of Justice * California Department of Managed Health Care * California Department of Mental Health * California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) * California Department of Personnel Administration * California Department of Pesticide Regulation * California Department of Public Health * California Department of Real Estate * California Department of Rehabilitation * California Department of Social Services Adoptions Branch * California Department of Social Services * California Department of Technology Services Training Center (DTSTC) * California Department of Technology Services (DTS) * California Department of Toxic Substances Control * California Department of Transportation (Caltrans) * California Department of Veterans Affairs (CalVets) * California Department of Water Resources * California Departmento de Vehiculos Motorizados * California Digital Library * California Disabled Veteran Business Enterprise Certification Program * California Division of Apprenticeship Standards * California Division of Codes and Standards * California Division of Communicable Disease Control * California Division of Engineering * California Division of Environmental and Occupational Disease Control * California Division of Gambling Control * California Division of Housing Policy Development * California Division of Labor Standards Enforcement * California Division of Labor Statistics and Research * California Division of Land and Right of Way * California Division of Land Resource Protection * California Division of Law Enforcement General Library * California Division of Measurement Standards * California Division of Mines and Geology * California Division of Occupational Safety and Health (Cal/OSHA) * California Division of Oil, Gas and Geothermal Resources * California Division of Planning and Local Assistance * California Division of Recycling * California Division of Safety of Dams * California Division of the State Architect * California Division of Tourism * California Division of Workers Compensation Medical Unit * California Division of Workers Compensation * California Economic Assistance, Business and Community Resources * California Economic Strategy Panel * California Education and Training Agency * California Education Audit Appeals Panel * California Educational Facilities Authority * California Elections Division * California Electricity Oversight Board * California Emergency Management Agency * California Emergency Medical Services Authority * California Employment Development Department (EDD) * California Employment Information State Jobs * California Employment Training Panel * California Energy Commission * California Environment and Natural Resources Agency * California Environmental Protection Agency (Cal/EPA) * California Environmental Resources Evaluation System (CERES) * California Executive Office * California Export Laboratory Services * California Exposition and State Fair (Cal Expo) * California Fair Political Practices Commission * California Fairs and Expositions Division * California Film Commission * California Fire and Resource Assessment Program * California Firearms Division * California Fiscal Services * California Fish and Game Commission * California Fisheries Program Branch * California Floodplain Management * California Foster Youth Help * California Franchise Tax Board (FTB) * California Fraud Division * California Gambling Control Commission * California Geographic Information Systems Council (GIS) * California Geological Survey * California Government Claims and Victim Compensation Board * California Governors Committee for Employment of Disabled Persons * California Governors Mentoring Partnership * California Governors Office of Emergency Services * California Governors Office of Homeland Security * California Governors Office of Planning and Research * California Governors Office * California Grant and Enterprise Zone Programs HCD Loan * California Health and Human Services Agency * California Health and Safety Agency * California Healthy Families Program * California Hearing Aid Dispensers Bureau * California High-Speed Rail Authority * California Highway Patrol (CHP) * California History and Culture Agency * California Horse Racing Board * California Housing Finance Agency * California Indoor Air Quality Program * California Industrial Development Financing Advisory Commission * California Industrial Welfare Commission * California InFoPeople * California Information Center for the Environment * California Infrastructure and Economic Development Bank (I-Bank) * California Inspection Services * California Institute for County Government * California Institute for Education Reform * California Integrated Waste Management Board * California Interagency Ecological Program * California Job Service * California Junta Estatal de Personal * California Labor and Employment Agency * California Labor and Workforce Development Agency * California Labor Market Information Division * California Land Use Planning Information Network (LUPIN) * California Lands Commission * California Landscape Architects Technical Committee * California Latino Legislative Caucus * California Law Enforcement Branch * California Law Enforcement General Library * California Law Revision Commission * California Legislative Analyst's Office * California Legislative Black Caucus * California Legislative Counsel * California Legislative Division * California Legislative Information * California Legislative Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Caucus * California Legislature Internet Caucus * California Library Development Services * California License and Revenue Branch * California Major Risk Medical Insurance Program * California Managed Risk Medical Insurance Board * California Maritime Academy * California Marketing Services * California Measurement Standards * California Medical Assistance Commission * California Medical Care Services * California Military Department * California Mining and Geology Board * California Museum for History, Women, and the Arts * California Museum Resource Center * California National Guard * California Native American Heritage Commission * California Natural Community Conservation Planning Program * California New Motor Vehicle Board * California Nursing Home Administrator Program * California Occupational Safety and Health Appeals Board * California Occupational Safety and Health Standards Board * California Ocean Resources Management Program * California Office of Administrative Hearings * California Office of Administrative Law * California Office of AIDS * California Office of Binational Border Health * California Office of Child Abuse Prevention * California Office of Deaf Access * California Office of Emergency Services (OES) * California Office of Environmental Health Hazard Assessment * California Office of Fiscal Services * California Office of Fleet Administration * California Office of Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) Implementation (CalOHI) * California Office of Historic Preservation * California Office of Homeland Security * California Office of Human Resources * California Office of Legal Services * California Office of Legislation * California Office of Lieutenant Governor * California Office of Military and Aerospace Support * California Office of Mine Reclamation * California Office of Natural Resource Education * California Office of Privacy Protection * California Office of Public School Construction * California Office of Real Estate Appraisers * California Office of Risk and Insurance Management * California Office of Services to the Blind * California Office of Spill Prevention and Response * California Office of State Publishing (OSP) * California Office of Statewide Health Planning and Development * California Office of Systems Integration * California Office of the Inspector General * California Office of the Ombudsman * California Office of the Patient Advocate * California Office of the President * California Office of the Secretary for Education * California Office of the State Fire Marshal * California Office of the State Public Defender * California Office of Traffic Safety * California Office of Vital Records * California Online Directory * California Operations Control Office * California Opinion Unit * California Outreach and Technical Assistance Network (OTAN) * California Park and Recreation Commission * California Peace Officer Standards and Training (POST) * California Performance Review (CPR) * California Permit Information for Business (CalGOLD) * California Physical Therapy Board * California Physician Assistant Committee * California Plant Health and Pest Prevention Services * California Policy and Evaluation Division * California Political Reform Division * California Pollution Control Financing Authority * California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo * California Postsecondary Education Commission * California Prevention Services * California Primary Care and Family Health * California Prison Industry Authority * California Procurement Division * California Public Employees Retirement System (CalPERS) * California Public Employment Relations Board (PERB) * California Public Utilities Commission (PUC) * California Real Estate Services Division * California Refugee Programs Branch * California Regional Water Quality Control Boards * California Registered Veterinary Technician Committee * California Registrar of Charitable Trusts * California Republican Caucus * California Research and Development Division * California Research Bureau * California Resources Agency * California Respiratory Care Board * California Rivers Assessment * California Rural Health Policy Council * California Safe Schools * California San Francisco Bay Conservation and Development Commission * California San Gabriel and Lower Los Angeles Rivers and Mountains Conservancy * California San Joaquin River Conservancy * California School to Career * California Science Center * California Scripps Institution of Oceanography * California Secretary of State Business Portal * California Secretary of State * California Seismic Safety Commission * California Self Insurance Plans (SIP) * California Senate Office of Research * California Small Business and Disabled Veteran Business Enterprise Certification Program * California Small Business Development Center Program * California Smart Growth Caucus * California Smog Check Information Center * California Spatial Information Library * California Special Education Division * California Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology Board * California Standardized Testing and Reporting (STAR) * California Standards and Assessment Division * California State Administrative Manual (SAM) * California State Allocation Board * California State and Consumer Services Agency * California State Architect * California State Archives * California State Assembly * California State Association of Counties (CSAC) * California State Board of Education * California State Board of Food and Agriculture *California Office of the Chief Information Officer (OCIO) * California State Children's Trust Fund * California State Compensation Insurance Fund * California State Contracts Register Program * California State Contracts Register * California State Controller * California State Council on Developmental Disabilities (SCDD) * California State Disability Insurance (SDI) * California State Fair (Cal Expo) * California State Jobs Employment Information * California State Lands Commission * California State Legislative Portal * California State Legislature * California State Library Catalog * California State Library Services Bureau * California State Library * California State Lottery * California State Mediation and Conciliation Service * California State Mining and Geology Board * California State Park and Recreation Commission * California State Parks * California State Personnel Board * California State Polytechnic University, Pomona * California State Railroad Museum * California State Science Fair * California State Senate * California State Summer School for Mathematics and Science (COSMOS) * California State Summer School for the Arts * California State Superintendent of Public Instruction * California State Teachers Retirement System (CalSTRS) * California State Treasurer * California State University Center for Distributed Learning * California State University, Bakersfield * California State University, Channel Islands * California State University, Chico * California State University, Dominguez Hills * California State University, East Bay * California State University, Fresno * California State University, Fullerton * California State University, Long Beach * California State University, Los Angeles * California State University, Monterey Bay * California State University, Northridge * California State University, Sacramento * California State University, San Bernardino * California State University, San Marcos * California State University, Stanislaus * California State University (CSU) * California State Water Project Analysis Office * California State Water Project * California State Water Resources Control Board * California Structural Pest Control Board * California Student Aid Commission * California Superintendent of Public Instruction * California Superior Courts * California Tahoe Conservancy * California Task Force on Culturally and Linguistically Competent Physicians and Dentists * California Tax Information Center * California Technology and Administration Branch Finance * California Telecommunications Division * California Telephone Medical Advice Services (TAMS) * California Transportation Commission * California Travel and Transportation Agency * California Unclaimed Property Program * California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board * California Unemployment Insurance Program * California Uniform Construction Cost Accounting Commission * California Veterans Board * California Veterans Memorial * California Veterinary Medical Board and Registered Veterinary Technician Examining Committee * California Veterinary Medical Board * California Victim Compensation and Government Claims Board * California Volunteers * California Voter Registration * California Water Commission * California Water Environment Association (COWPEA) * California Water Resources Control Board * California Welfare to Work Division * California Wetlands Information System * California Wildlife and Habitat Data Analysis Branch * California Wildlife Conservation Board * California Wildlife Programs Branch * California Work Opportunity and Responsibility to Kids (CalWORKs) * California Workers Compensation Appeals Board * California Workforce and Labor Development Agency * California Workforce Investment Board * California Youth Authority (CYA) * Central Valley Flood Protection Board * Center for California Studies * Colorado River Board of California * Counting California * Dental Board of California * Health Insurance Plan of California (PacAdvantage) * Humboldt State University * Jobs with the State of California * Judicial Council of California * Learn California * Library of California * Lieutenant Governors Commission for One California * Little Hoover Commission (on California State Government Organization and Economy) * Medical Board of California * Medi-Cal * Osteopathic Medical Board of California * Physical Therapy Board of California * Regents of the University of California * San Diego State University * San Francisco State University * San Jose State University * Santa Monica Mountains Conservancy * State Bar of California * Supreme Court of California * Teach California * University of California * University of California, Berkeley * University of California, Davis * University of California, Hastings College of the Law * University of California, Irvine * University of California, Los Angeles * University of California, Merced * University of California, Riverside * University of California, San Diego * University of California, San Francisco * University of California, Santa Barbara * University of California, Santa Cruz * Veterans Home of California

Of course, we all know that the only things they can cut are police and fire.... and teachers

It doesn't matter whether you are a Democrat, a Republican or Independent. This list is shocking.  Over the years, California politicians have created this enormous pork barrel of agencies that employ over 350,000 people directly and countless more via contracts with the State. All of these people get salaries, medical coverage and pensions at taxpayer expense - and almost all are unionized.