Monday, February 28, 2011

"O" Let's Visit The Troops


I heard the President's visit to the troops didn't go so well...



Photobucket

Hat Tip to that wonderful funny Lady Stopsign @ Lonely is the Nights

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Short Last Names ....

 
Why NFL Quarterbacks Need Short Last names...





Thanks David !

Saturday, February 26, 2011

It's Time To Start Caring About Husbands


It's about time someone started caring about husbands! 
They should be given a medal. 
Banner Out in Front of a PUB in Darwin

MY KIND OF PLACE !


Friday, February 25, 2011

Rule #5 Woodsterman Style !


Oh baby ... let's sleep in today.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Biting The Bullet ... Cutting Expenses ...

I HOPE YOU WILL PARTICIPATE, AND DO YOUR PART !

The  President ordered the cabinet to cut a whopping $100 million from the $3.5 trillion federal budget!
I'm so impressed by this  sacrifice that I have decided to do the same thing with my personal budget.  I spend about $2000 a month on groceries, household expenses, medicine, utilities, etc, but it's time to get out the budget cutting ax, go line by line through my expenses, and cut back!
I'm going  to cut my spending at exactly the same ratio -1/35,000 of my total budget. After doing the math, it looks like instead of spending $2000 a month; I'm going to have to cut that number by six cents!

Yes, I'm going to have to get by with  $1999.94, but that's what sacrifice is all about. I'll just have to do  without some things, that are, frankly, luxuries. (Did the pres actually  think no one would do the math?)

 John Q.  Taxpayer
Award winning bumper sticker!

Thanks David !

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Just When You Thought Is Was Safe ~ Walmart 5

 I feel SO SORRY for this kid when he was HALF his size….think about it for a moment, on second thought...don't.
 How’s that go again??....No shoes, No Shirt….oh, you got suspenders? Well, okay go on in Bubba….
 I’m sure this gets the Ladies excited!  OR Not on your best day Bubba ...
 Can’t this guy (???)  see the hat clearly does NOT match his outfit???
UM! who is in that much of a hurry to get to Wal-Mart you can’t finish dressing? Pants are in isle 22 Granny!!!

OR that must be the end  .... That's all folks ! 

Thanks Dan for the fun ...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

WAL-MART INTERVIEW

Jennifer a manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.

'That's very good!' replied Jennifer.
'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.
 

'Hmmm..let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened.... A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
 

'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed..' She then turned to the thirdman, who was contemplating his reply.
 

'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yip, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of.'
 

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man
'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said.
 

Turning to Louie, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.
 

Old Louie replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
 

'WHAT!?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response...
 

'Oh sure', said Louie. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my pants.'
 

Louie is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
 

You'll probably think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now on.

Thanks David !

Monday, February 21, 2011

Just When You Thought Is Was Safe ~ Walmart 4

When it’s gonna require a little more than a just a little Nip and Tuck
 My Mom always said “If yer gonna throw a tantrum, you may as well be dusting the floor while you’re down there!” OR Trick ridin' Walmart style.
 Trollin' ????
What happens if you can manage to keep your Chia Pet alive long enough

Thanks Dan!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Just When You Thought Is Was Safe ~ Walmart 3

 Ghetto Smurfette ~ OR ~ sing along ... "68 tons and what ya get .... "
 I never leave home without my Kangaroo and my wallet!
 SERIOUSLY???? You have GOT to be KIDDING ME?? I have no words….. Come on, at least some tacky Walmart sweat pants.
Some lucky kiddo out there has a Grandma and Grandpa all rolled into one!

Thanks Dan ... I think.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Just When You Thought Is Was Safe ~ Walmart 2

 Ahhh….Reindeer run on Red Bull….makes total sense now!
 I’m sure it’s just fiiiiiiine to take candy from this guy and sit on his lap while your parents shop!
 WTF is it? And WHY the hell is it at Wal-Mart??
No need to exercise anymore- just buy clothing that shows everyone what you WANT to look like. 

Thanks Dan !

Thursday, February 17, 2011

How About A Wonder of a Rule #5

I came across this at Fox.com and almost fell over.
It takes a lot to make Woodsterman Speechless. Her
Beauty did it for me. Her name is Adrianne Palicki,
and she will be the new Wonder Woman.

Just When You Thought Is Was Safe ~ Walmart

 I guess One Size fits all does NOT apply to Toupees either!!

Where was she during our Neighborhood Scavenger hunt this summer! She has everything that was on my list!
 Ho-Ho-Holy Shit!! Santa???? ( I like his originality )
 Thanks to Obamacare- we now have to replenish our own medical supplies on all hospital stays over 24 hours.
Pimp My Santa!

Thanks Dan !

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Bubba Died ....

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly .

The morgue needed someone to identify the body, 
so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer.

The three men had always done everything together.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet,
Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Bubba.'

The mortician thought this was rather strange.
So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body.
Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up .
Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Bubba.'

The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
Gomer said, 'Well, Bubba had two assholes.'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say :

'There's Bubba with them two assholes.'

Monday, February 14, 2011

A Penquin Car


You ask, "What does this have to do with Valentines Day?"
Well not a damn thing ... So, Happy Valentines Day !

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Surgery Information


MEDICAL UPDATE
 
Remember this the next time you have major surgery 
and need a blood transfusion!!
This is good to know!!
 
 MEDICAL RESEARCH

Australian Medical Association researchers have found
that  patients needing blood transfusions may benefit
from receiving chicken blood
rather than human blood.
It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better....

Just thought you'd like to know.

BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO ARE CRACKED,
FOR THEY ARE THE ONES WHO LET IN THE LIGHT!
 
OK, I'll be going to my room now.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

"Scratch 'Harry Baals' off list" according to AP

If yous guys heard Rush today, maybe you laughed as
hard as I did. Rush does have a way with words. Here
is the story he was referring to:

Associated Press .... 

A former Indiana mayor who won four terms in the 1930s and 1950s is proving less popular with modern-day city leaders, who say they probably won't name a new government center for him because of the jokes his moniker could inspire.

Harry Baals is the runaway favorite in online voting to name the new building in Fort Wayne, about 120 miles northeast of Indianapolis. But Deputy Mayor Beth Malloy said that probably won't be enough to put the name of the city's longest-tenured mayor on the center.

The issue is pronunciation. The former mayor pronounced his last name "balls." His descendants have since changed it to "bales."

The rest of the story >>>>

Snow Removal Help for Bunni and Supi

Well Ladies, I just wanted to pass on this snow
plowing tip on to you. This is, after all, what I use.
I hope this photo of me helps you to ...
Gitter Done !

Monday, February 7, 2011

Krista Branch ~ "Remember Who We Are"


If by chance you live in a cave and haven't heard
"I Am America" by Krista please give it a listen.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Happy 100th Birthday Mr. President !

I feel I could do no better than the wonderful 
lady at "No Sheeples Here". So please click
her blogs name and see the Video Tribute she
Created for this Special Birthday.

~ Ronald Reagan ~
I feel what separates Ronald Reagan from those in Washington
today is he would tell you what you needed to hear and not what
you wanted to hear.

 

Saturday, February 5, 2011

The Toons and Humor Are Getting Better Too ...





Leave it to some old guy to 
come up with this poster.
He's My Hero !
Thanks Dan !