Monday, December 5, 2011

Johnny Askes ....

THE WEDDING NIGHT

Fred and Mary got married but couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they went back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first night together.
 
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, 
gets up and has his breakfast.
 
As he is going out of the door to go to school, 
he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, "No."
 
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think ?"

His Mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think , 
Just go to school ! "
 
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his Mom, 
 "Are Fred and Mary up yet ?" She replies, "No.."
 
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think ?"

His Mom resplies, "Never mind what you think , 
Eat your lunch and go back to school ! "
 
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet ?"

His Mom says, "No.."

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think ?"

His Mom replies, "Ok, now tell me what you think ?"


He says, "Last night Fred came to my room 
for the Vaseline and I think ,,,,

I gave him my airplane glue !! "


Side note: Now that I had everything transferred  over
to the new computer from the old, there's a ton of
clean up to do. Like getting rid of all the old crap
that won't work with the new operating system. 
So, I'll be around, but not as quickly as I hoped.

22 comments:

Amusing Bunni said...

That's a sticky situation ;-)

USA_Admiral said...

Was not an accident either.

Randy-g said...

Fred will always be stuck on Mary...
Admiral, no accident? ROTFL!

nominedeus said...

Nice one Odie heres one for you...
*An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay
with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If
you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one
week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out,
smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked,
"What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll
stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss
me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool." ****

USA_Admiral said...

Randy-G:

OMG! Fred stuck on Mary! Best comment ever!

Brooke said...

Oooh. Didn't see that punch line comin'. ;)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Bunni, you absolutely correct!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, how can you be so suspicious of little Johnny?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, Fred is REALLY stuck on Mary. It's called Togetherness.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

nominedeus, that's a good one. Come back on Wednesday and see your name in lights.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, if you keep saying things like that, it will surely go to his head.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brooke, We woodworkers refer to that as a glue line not a punch line.

Scott said...

My friend came down the steps and asked for the Vaseline...His BEST friend gave him Vicks Vapo-Rub...YEOOOWW! True story.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scott ... YEOOOWW !!!!

nominedeus said...

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want". The first engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit
you anyway".

A Pissed Off Irishman said...

I always get my morning spat on my computer monitor coffee when I came here.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

nominedeus, Good Choice!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

A Pissed Off Irishman, I see my work continues to be a success.

nominedeus said...

Ah hell Odie you can call me ND if you like saves all that typin stuff

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

ND, OK but I copy and paste crazy names like yours. You see I'm lazy at heart.

Always On Watch said...

Years ago, a doctor here, a real skirt chaser, finally got caught cheating by his wife, the last to know. His wife waited until her husband was asleep and then poured Super Glue all over his groin area, upon which his hands were "resting." Quite the local laugh.

Divorce proceedings immediately followed. The court gave the wife quite a settlement, and the doctor had to relocate his practice in a completely different region of the state.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

AOW ... OUCH! She could have been arrested for assault.