Monday, November 28, 2011

Ed

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his 
sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
 
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 
'You died in your sleep, Ed.'
Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too 
much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go 
back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm 
near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with 
feathers, clucking and pecking the ground..
rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? 
How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange 
feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've
never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Ed.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!  
He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.  
He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming..
 
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the 
back of his head, and heard.....
"Ed, wake up! You shit the bed!"
 
Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!

18 comments:

Amusing Bunni said...

Maybe he had read o's fav book "everybody poops" before bed time, heh.

Randy-g said...

Was his last name Schultz?

Brooke said...

ROTFLMAO at Randy! :)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Bunni, I missed that one.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, I'll ask him.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brooke, don't encourage him.

LL said...

I dreamed that I ate a 500 lbs marshmallow last night and when I woke up, my pillow was missing...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, take two eggs and see me in the morning.

Ron Russell said...

Sadly I know about those weird dreams and waking to reality!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, don't lay any eggs or eat marshmallows and you'll be fine.

WomanHonorThyself said...

oish!!!Have a great Monday my friend.:)

stopsign said...

Randy made me giggle too...Oh sh*t now I forgot what I was going to say.

tha malcontent said...

Here's one that you should be able to have some fun with.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-q77bS67U8DU/TtPP0TlewVI/AAAAAAAAInA/H4i2-fOSLRM/s640/1mime-attachment.jpg

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

WHT, Mondays are great when you're retired.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Stopsign, you're not that old are you?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Mal, fun indeed. She's a fine specimen!

Teresa said...

LMAO! Dreaming meets reality.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Teresa, you have to watch out for those dreams.