Thursday, January 6, 2011

YEAR END RESULTS FROM TSA AIRPORT SCREENINGS

Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the 
Department of Homeland Security

Transvestites                                  133

Hernia’s                                        1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases                        3,172

Enlarged Prostates                        8,249

Breast Implants                             59,350

Natural Blondes                             3

Terrorist Plots Discovered           0

28 comments:

Nickie Goomba said...

Whew... They kept us safe!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Nickie, must have worked.

What Makes Us Right said...

Wow, three natural blondes, Sounds high to me!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Righty, that's because they checked all blondes.

LL said...

It makes me proud to be an official US Government taxpayer.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, we can all hold our heads up high this day!

Christopher - Conservative Perspective said...

See, it's all about health care and transparency.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Christopher, I personally believe it's about looking for natural blondes.

Euripides said...

I'm a natural blonde, but believe me, the guys at the TSA weren't eying me.

Or maybe they were. I don't care to know about that....

WomanHonorThyself said...

good garsh did they find brain matter in the lefties by any chance?..lol

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Euripides, you are kinda pretty.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

WHT, not one once was found.

stopsign said...

OK OK I confess I'm not a Natural Blonde.

Supi said...

I just don't know what to say...

Fuzzy Slippers said...

Odie getting to the heart of the matter: priceless.

sig94 said...

Perhaps we can use iron filings and scotch tape to make interesting coments on various parts of our bodies. Give the TSA lads some reading material while searching for implants.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Stopsign, I love it when a not-so natural blonde gets in the spirit of things.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Supi, is that a blonde joke?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Fuzzy, we do our best around here ... see what you were missing?

Fuzzy Slippers said...

I was missing soooo much! :(

I blame you. And George Bush.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sig94, kind of a grown-up dress up party huh.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Touche' Fuzzy! :D

Matt said...

Great success. If only every gubmint program were this full of win.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Matt ... sure?

USA_Admiral said...

I am surprised how high the natural blond number is and how low the hernia number is. Take a walk through Wal Mart and you will see why I think the hernia number is low.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, so you want me to go through WalMart and check for Hernias. Why not ... I'll probably fit right in.

Trestin said...

Lol good times.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Trestin ... nothing but the best.