Monday, September 27, 2010

Open Letter From Michelle

Dear Americans,

For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country.
I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242,000   

dollars for my vacation in Spain . My daughter Sasha, several long-time
family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time.
Honestly, you just haven't lived until you have stayed in a $2,500 per
night suite at a 5-Star luxury hotel. Thank you also for the use of Air
Force 2 and the 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we
were safe and cared for at all times.

Air Force 2 only used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for this trip and carbon
emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2. These are only rough estimates,
but they are close. That's quite a carbon footprint as my good friend Al
Gore would say, so we must ask the American citizens to drive smaller,
more fuel efficient cars and drive less too, so we can lessen our combined
carbon footprint.

I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on
the table and trying to make ends meet. I do appreciate your sacrifice and
do hope you find work soon. I was really exhausted after Barack took our
family on a luxury vacation in Maine a few weeks ago. I just had to get  

away for a few days.


Michelle Obama

(Thanks, John)


LL said...

It thrills me (I feel the thrill running up my leg just like Chris Matthews) to be a US Taxpayer and to know that I helped brighten the First Lady's life in some small way. She has been kept down by the white man for so long that it's high time that she could get away from her 1/2 white metrosexual (Bi) husband for a few days.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, you're just a damn poet sir. I too feel sorry for her and her situation.

Pierro said...

Moochelle Oblamer
I do NOT feel sorry for her.
There is no excuse for stupidity in adulthood. I feel sorry for the daughters.

bonks Mr. Woodsters. I hope you have a wonderful day.
It is raining here (something we have not had in two months, almost like we live in some place like um "Dryplace, California") and I am planning on snuggling in the blankies

more bonks

Pierro said...

Thank you boatloads for your continual pursuit of Missie Bunni's status and welfare (not to be confused with Welfare).
we are very disappointed that she is missing. I do not know whether to be worried or not. We just hope she is happy.
bonkthanks for your efforts

We looked through our emails, at one point we thought we had her email, but we do not, so we are completely dependent (like Welfare) on your persistent quest for answers to the perplexing situation.

more bonkthanks

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Pierro, enjoy the warmth of indoors during your rain storm.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Pierro, There are many of us trying to get answers from and about Bunni. I'll keep you and everyone else posted. So far she just plain isn't answering. When I hear, everyone will hear also.

The War Planner said...


Freaking great as usual! The art of satire is how close to the truth it can come and, taken on the whole, this just about sidles right up next to reality.

I too am concerned about Bunni; let me know when she turns up.


Christopher - Conservative Perspective said...

FLOTUS can kiss my American azz!

p.s., No word on my end either about Bunni, like you, if I hear so will all.

Christopher - Conservative Perspective said...


Not sure if all are aware of this but may help in understanding:

Some Guy's Thought's said...

OY! Please don't get me started!

Supi said...

After reading this, I'll will always splurge for Motel 6. I know they never slept there.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Christopher, kiss what? Read above ...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Christopher, I went and read. The story above is what Bunni wishes to say.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

We'll start Jefferson State TWP.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Some Guy, it's easy to get us started these days ... Welcome.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Supi, Motel 6 sounds good to me, but I'm really a motorhome / RV park kind of a guy.

banned said...

As a UK Subject, if I were to walk to work all this week could I allocate my saved carbon footprint to offset Michelles profligacy?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Banned, give it a try while she spouts," Let them eat cake."