Wednesday, July 7, 2010


The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. 
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on 
productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next:
"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.
The teacher held her breath ...
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

                                      "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world
                               were you selling"                     
                                "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

                                "Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher,

                                "How could you possibly sell enough tooth
                                brushes to make that much money?"

                                "I found the busiest corner in town,"
                                said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip &
                                Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked
                                by a free sample."

                                They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes
                                like dog shit!"

                                Then I would say,"It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

                                "I used the governmental approach
                                of giving you something shitty that they say is good,
                                and then making you pay to get the shitty taste out
                                of your mouth."
  The teacher was speechless. . . . . . . 

Thanks Dan


Supi said...

Oh gosh, When I was growing up, we used L.A. Airport as the setting to this joke.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Supi,Are you from there? I grew up right next to LAX.

Opus #6 said...

Small government is good government.

Kristin said...

Little Johnny jokes are the best. Look up his "Uncle Bob" one sometime.

Christopher said...

Big fan of Litle Johnny myself and this one is bar far the most realistic.

innominatus said...

Nice. Hopefully the next elections will be the Listerine.

Supi said...

I grew up right next to the Van Nuys Airport. lol.

tha malcontent said...

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not an option in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol Anne. I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

The War Planner said...


I know you; you're the guy who wrote this song.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie small is the BEST!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Kristin, I like them because they describe my life.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Christopher, If you think about it for a whole tenth of a second, you'll come to the conclusion it fits your government to a tee.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

innominatus, and add dental floss to that too.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Supi, well that's close ...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Mal, those are truly words to live by.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

TWP, put another log on the fire before you leave, will ya.

tha malcontent said...

The War Planner said...
I know you; you're the guy who wrote this song.

Didn't write that one, but I wish I did. It makes a lot of sense...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Mal, put another log on the fire.